There is a weapon which is so deadly, yet so simple. One that can be easily picked up and hidden until used, one that can be devastating when used against adversaries when deployed correctly, yet can be rendered useless with one single blow. Banned from playing conkers What am I going on about?  Well, conkers of course. Otherwise known as Aesculus Hippocastanum, which is probably why schoolboys called them conkers. In my street, I was blessed with a multitude of conkers trees which bore every autumn. Literally hundreds of conkers fell to the ground in their bright green spiky shells, and when peeled produced a bright brown shiny nut with a…

Hope is a funny thing, and really means different things to different people. I, in my time, have had many brushes with this thing as I am sure many other people have. I remember when I was a voice-over artist, doing voices for radio and TV ads. This one day I was called to a Christian radio station, Highway FM which was in Pinetown, to do some work. When I reached the station, I walked through the door into a sanctum of religious artifacts, Biblical scenes on the walls and a large crucifix on the wall behind the receptionist. “Hello,” the receptionist said, fixing me with a beaming smile, “have…

I must admit, my stage life, amongst many other things in my life, was pretty disastrous. At my school when I was eight or nine, I was cast in a nativity play as lead Wise Man visiting the newly born Christ. I only got the part as I was the only one with a dressing gown. Things were going well on stage until I mixed up my lines completely which upset Mary and Joseph considerably. I was fired. Next, I was relegated to left-hand curtain puller, opening and closing the curtains between set and cast changes, Again, things were going well until I accidently opened the curtain on my side…

Ah, travel. There is something rather special about travelling to far distant places, mystic islands, historic ancient cities, new people, new places and the wonders of discovery. But there is something else about travelling that those who have not experienced it, should know about, and that is airport security, passport control and the pleasures that await you. Travel and Passport control Now for those who have never travelled and experienced this phenomenon, let me tell you about it, and even pop in a couple of things that have happened to me. In these days of terrorism and the heightened security scares worldwide, it is obvious that airport security must be…

Western civilisation is impossible, and completely and utterly crazy. What other culture gets themselves into situations by inventing things which could bring down the entire structure of civilisation, and culture as we know it and blame it all on tradition? There are many things which are traditional in society which could ultimately bring us to our downfall. Simple things which batter away at our culture by driving us to distraction, and could lead to our collapse. What am I talking about? Let me give you a couple of examples. Traditional Troublemakers: Wire Coat Hangers Traditional wire coat hangers. Have you ever noticed how, no matter how careful you are in…

In all honesty, the most disturbing thing about love is the possibility of being pursued by a mythical creature wholly intent on archery practise with your heart as its target. I find this uncomfortable. My first clash with love was when I was dragooned into a prep school at the age of eight, and frogmarched into a class populated with a dozen or so other boys of my age, and a rather ferocious gentleman who was the tutor. Once I was seated, and I suspect, because I was the new boy, the be-spectacled tormentor made a be-line for me and spat at me: “Armo, Amas, Amat…” whilst slamming his bamboo…