A Burden Shared, A Light Renewed

Jean shared a table with my sister, next to us in our retirement complex.

Her husband had passed away 18 months ago. She put on a brave front. Always cheerful whenever I spoke to her – never a word of complaint.

Then I noticed that Jean was missing at lunch times. I found out that she had contracted shingles. I know that shingles can be a very painful disease.

We did not see Jean for four months. I had heard that her son-in-law from Australia had come to stay with her. I spoke to him a few times. He seemed to be a very caring, helpful person. On enquiry about how Jean was coping, he told me about the severe pain Jean was experiencing on the side of her face, even affecting her left eye. The medication her doctor prescribed did not seem to help significantly.

When her son-in-law had to go back home, Jean started coming back to the dining room at meal times. From the frequent strained expressions on her face, it was clear that she was battling. Yet, she never spoke about her personal battle with pain. Whenever my wife or I spoke to her, she was always her friendly, charming self.

For the following eight months, there were extended periods when Jean did not come to the dining room. We were told she still battled to cope with her shingles.

At Christmas, her daughter from Australia came to visit. Jean preferred to spend the precious time with her loved one in her cottage.

One day, on my regular morning walk, Jean asked me: “Wolfgang, I believe you had Botox treatment recently. Won’t you tell us all about it?” “Sure, with pleasure,” I said.

I told Jean and her daughter Debbie about my experience when Botox was injected into my neck muscles to ease off head tremors due to a neurological condition called dystonia. Botox blocks chemical signals from nerves that cause muscles to contract. The injections weakened the muscles in my neck, but did not stop the tremors. In addition, they affected neighbouring muscles – those that produce swallowing, as well as those that activate the vocal cords. So, my speech was less distinct, and I had to be careful not to put too much food in my mouth at meal times, otherwise I could risk choking.

Jean and Debbie also asked me what I used to alleviate the pain that accompanied my muscle contractions. I told them about the creams and special skin lotions that have helped me to manage the neck pain. I gave them the tubes and roll-on applicator and told them where these could be bought.

Jean and Debbie thanked me profusely, especially for sharing my experience with Botox with them. They said that my talking about it helped them make up their mind that Botox treatment may not be the way to sort out Jean’s pain and that they would try the lotions I have been using.

Three days later, when I walked past Jean’s cottage on my regular morning walk, Jean came out her front door and said she wanted to show me something. She opened her Bible and said to me that Isaiah 35 had been her favourite chapter in the Bible since her youth. She read verses 3-4 to me:

Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way; say to those with fearful hearts, “Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, he will come with vengeance; with divine retribution he will come to save you.”

She was glowing. She said the cream I gave her helped to relieve the pain on the side of her face. Her daughter had bought her the lotions that had helped me, and she could look forward to a relatively pain-free future.

Jean’s interaction was a lesson to me. We do not need to carry our burdens alone – it often helps to talk to someone who has gone through a similar experience as we have, and maybe theirs can also help us.   By asking me about my experience with Botox, I realized that the adverse effects I was going through would eventually wear off, and I must do what I could to cope with my new reality, and trust that God will take me through the rough times.